The teacher. A play for 4 people. Comedy - Николай Владимирович Лакутин

Sanek. I got home from work, damn it, early. I made a surprise. Pleased!

Ksyusha. Come on, come on! Go on! Think about your behavior.

Sanek. Yes, I'll go, but will I come back?.. This is a big question!

Ksyusha. Good riddance!

Sanek. There are flowers in a vase in the kitchen, and a cake on the table. Eat and smell! Have a nice evening, madam! Happy stay!

Sanek is about to leave, but happy Anna and Victor enter to meet him. Victor has a cake in his hands.

Victor. Hello everyone. I'm healthy, Alexander.

Victor holds out his hand to say hello.

Sanek. Hi. Sorry, my hands are busy.

Victor. So put the battery on. Or are you in a hurry?

Sanek. I'm in a hurry. I'm in a hurry.

Ksyusha. He is late, he urgently needs to find other Ksyusha. Yes, more, but quieter. Those with whom to feast and to peace. And then, you see, they take out his brains. Everything must have been taken out, there is nothing left.

Anna. Guys, don't fight. Let's sit together and have tea. We have a serious reason. Let's celebrate.

Sanek. What? Has Vitek signed a new serious contract? Let's be happy for him. Well done. I'm sorry, I can't clap, my hands are busy.

Anna. Yes, put that battery on already, Sasha.

Victor. And you're almost right about the contract! You could say that.

Ksyusha. What's so joyful about you there?

Anna. Victor proposed to me! Here!

Anna shows the ring on her finger.

Anna. We have just filed an application from the registry office.

Victor joyfully picks up a cake.

Victor. Shall we celebrate?

Ksyusha begins to howl with resentment, envy and anger.

Ksyusha. Ahhh! Get the fuck out of here! That's it! The whole trio! Along with cakes, batteries and rings! Otherwise, I can't vouch for myself, I can strangle one or two inadvertently!

Anna. Ksyusha, what are you doing?

Sanek. It's you, brothers, who are on her sore spot…

Ksyusha. In-o-o-n!

Ksyusha pushes everyone out of the apartment. Is returning. He falls to the floor, sobbing.

Street. Victor, Anna, and Sanek with a battery in their hands.

Sanek. Sorry, guys, we got into a hot hand. Ksyukha is outgoing, in two hours you can already come in. He will meet you as if nothing had happened.

Victor. And what happened there?

Sanek. Yes…

Anna. Put this battery on already, after all.

Sanek puts the battery on, unbends, stretches his back.

Sanek. They had a row about the stamp in the passport.

Anna. Sasha? She really has been worried about this for a long time and very much. You've been dating for quite a long time, and you're not asking her to get married. Naturally, she thinks different things. And it's different — not in your favor.

Sanek. And you did well. One— two, and that's it. Smart guys.

Victor. The word success, and the word to make it — they are very happy, Alexander. If you miss your chance, there may not be a second one. It's the same in the matter of personal relationships. No, of course, you don't need to rush at the first person you meet, but there's no need to delay either. If you understand that the person is yours, if you feel it, and if it's mutual — act, don't slow down!

Anna. Maybe you just didn't feel it? How do you feel about Ksyusha? Is it serious, or what?

Sanek smiles guiltily and remains silent.

Pause.

Sanek takes a box with wedding rings out of his pants pocket, opens it, shows it.

Sanek. Yes, I felt everything. I haven't looked at anyone except Ksyukha for a long time, I'm not looking for anyone, I'm not choosing. I just wanted everything to be human. To have something to go on a honeymoon. I've been collecting money for a long time. Kolyma, part-time jobs, and so on. I didn't save up for an apartment, but I took aim at a foreign car. I thought we would get married, travel, and then come, and immediately take Ksyukha to the car dealership, together we will choose our joint swallow and …

Victor. Did you want to propose to her today?

Sanek. Wanted… I didn't have time, she immediately attacked me, didn't let me say a word.

Anna. Sasha, well, you understand her too. It wasn't out of spite that she told you, it was all nerves. Don't give up, do you hear? I've known you for a long time, you're a good couple. Please, just don't give up!

Sanek. And I'm not going to!

Victor. How can I help you? Tell me, we'll do everything we can. Maybe arrange some kind of unexpected surprise for her? If you want, we'll take her out into nature, invite the orchestra, and there you will appear in a white suit, with flowers and with these very rings. We'll do something like that. What do you think?

Anna. By the way, it's interesting!

Sanek. No, my friends, I've had enough of surprises. I'll be back right now, either I'll put the ring on her finger or the battery on her head. Pan or gone! One of two things.

Sanek resolutely grabs his battery and heads back to Ksyusha's apartment.