The teacher. A play for 4 people. Comedy - Николай Владимирович Лакутин

Anna. But I'll take it, and I'll agree! I say yes!

Victor. Seriously?

Anna. And what?

Victor. Well… Simply… The question is really serious. So with the kondachka…

Anna. The word is not a sparrow. Now I've told you what to do. It's my fault, it serves me right.

They're smiling.

Anna. Are we going to kiss, or what?

Victor looks at Anna with excitement and interest. He is somewhat surprised at both himself and her.

Victor. What? Right here? Right now? In the morning, on the bench?

Anna nods.

Victor. People are walking. I… somehow… I'm a little shy. Someone else will see it. Come on, maybe not now, after all?

Anna. And what's not right now? Can we do it now?

Victor. Why not now?

Anna. Come on now!

Victor. Ah… Well, let's do it now.

Victor shyly looks around so that no one can see them, but Anna takes him by the chin, turns him around to face her and kisses him.

Kissing.

Flat. A weekday. Evening.

Ksyusha comes home from work in a bad mood. Sanek greets her in a housecoat.

Sanek. Hi. How did you work out?

Ksyusha. Oh, what are you doing here? Yes I… Normal. What are you doing hanging out? Why aren't you working? What are you doing here anyway?

Sanek. And where should I hang out, Ksyukh?

Ksyusha. Somewhere… In this… In the very… Have you registered here already?

Sanek. I just got off early today, came to you, wanted to make a surprise, I thought you'd be happy.

Ksyusha. I was pleased. Just made me happy!

Sanek. What's the matter with you, Ksyusha?

Ksyusha freaks out, throws her work bag and the groceries she brought on the floor.

Ksyusha. What's wrong with me? I'm all right. What's the matter with you! Why do I have to explain every time that I don't live here alone. This is not a walk-through house. What are you doing? Are you my husband, so that you can come to my house like this every time? Who are you to me anyway? Did you come to me early from work? Maybe you wanted to catch Anyuta? She's on her first shift today, she should be home! (SCREAMING) Anya? Are you at home?

Sanek. Calm down, she's not here.

Ksyusha. Will I calm down? You calm down.

Sanek grabs Ksusha by the shoulders and shakes her.

Sanek. What's the matter with you? What happened? I mean, are you asking me who I am? What am I? Some kind of lefty dude who comes here in the mood?

Ksyusha. What's wrong?

Sanek. No, it's not like that!

Ksyusha. And how?

Sanek. I generally considered myself your common-law husband, but it seems that I was the only one who thought so.

Ksyusha. A civilian… Civilian is what is, what is not. You didn't propose to me, not even to a civilian. None at all. And it looks like you're not going to.

Sanek. What kind of people are you women? What does this stamp in the passport fundamentally change?

Ksyusha. It changes everything!

Sanek. What exactly is it? Will you love me more? Or less? Do you even love me?

Ksyusha. If you make an offer, then you'll find out. As it is, we don't even have a civil marriage, but a guest marriage. It doesn't suit me. I'm not a girl from the street to come to me for a poke-poke. I need a husband! The real one! The real one, you know? Not temporary, not civilian, not anything else. An ordinary, normal legitimate husband! From whom I will give birth to children, with whom I will go through life hand in hand, in whom I will be sure!

Sanek. If you want a stamp, please, at least now! A couple of minutes, I'll just change my clothes and go straight to the registry office to apply.

Sanek runs to change clothes, but Ksyusha stops him.

Ksyusha. I don't need any handouts! So that you can live your whole life and know that I begged you for this marriage, forced you! I married myself! You'll think so yourself, it won't end well.

Sanek. Grab your purse! It's so bad, and so bad. Make up your mind! What do you want from me? What do you want me to do?

Ksyusha. Take your battery from the balcony and get the hell back to your mother!

Sanek. I would have said right away that it was over between us! It wasn't necessary to arrange this whole circus.

Sanek runs away to change clothes, get ready. He's shouting from the other room.

The cry of Sanka. Have you stopped loving me? Did you meet someone else? Yes, you're welcome. I won't get upset. I'll find another one for myself, some kind of Ksyukha, who won't take out my brain because of I don't understand what kind of nonsense. What a figure for me! Look, that's not it for her, and that's not it. Well, I'm sorry, not a billionaire. I don't move banks, I don't have a villa. A mere mortal. From the bright, earthly ones. I can't offer you anything special. I see, why the hell did you give up on me like that. Obviously, I found a more interesting option!

Ksyusha remains silent. Sulking. He's waiting for Sanek to pack up and leave.

Sanek